Wednesday, March 21, 2007

unveiling tom kain's MAKE ME AN ALBUM project


THE REASON: recently something has been brought to my attention. not just "brought" to my attention, i guess, but rammed into it repeatedly.

a while ago a friend told me that i should start making music again. i used to be quite a songwriter, they said. "you're wasting your talent, tom." who knows if what they're saying is true, but their advice certainly made me think. songwriting is fun, i thought. but i'm so lazy, and i have school. i also don't have a guitar. or a microphone. screw it.

fast forward to a brisk february evening in saitama, japan. you all there? good. i was with my girlfriend and her mother and we were singing cheesy japanese songs. i decided to sing the theme song to a show about a 14-year old mother and her tribulations. the program was called "14-year old mother." anyway, it's a pretty good song. my girlfriend and her mom looked at me and said "you're wasting your talent, tom." i thought what they were saying sounded pretty familiar, but i ended up just getting drunk on watered-down gin and tonics.

THE REALIZATION:
fast forward another week. i get 2 messages on facebook saying "make some music." then i found out that john kamman released a cd, and brian heilman's having a cd-release show. i wish i could make it, but brian, just know that your show was the last straw for me. everyone is making something out of their talents except for me! i just sit around and play civilization on my computer! I MUST MAKE MUSIC!

however, i was pounded back into reality when i looked around my room and saw not one string of a guitar, not one cord of a microphone, not one hammer of a piano, not single shred of real music making machinery.

BUT THEN...

i went to the bathroom.

AND THERE...

i realized that my girlfriend's brother just bought a recording system! and i - i have the capability to illegally download recording software! i can make music! (that buildup was too dramatic).

THE SETBACK: however, i lack one really important thing: the very first strike of inspiration. as some of you know, fred savage and the unbeatables' "sloth man" would not have been written had it not been for jackie nelson's words of wisdom: "write a song called 'sloth man.'" basically, i can't write a song until someone makes me. i need your help, people. i need people to give me titles, and lots of them. give me something to work with.

THE RULES: i've created a little form in the sidebar of this page. it's under the title "THE MAKE ME AN ALBUM PROJECT." the titles of five songs will be taken from the submissions i receive. however, i won't select them, per se. i have chosen five important numbers. the first submission i receive will be number 1, and it will go up from there. the submissions that land on my chosen numbers will be the titles of my songs. also, the "letter from a to g" field will determine the keys of the songs. those will be chosen randomly.

the numbers:
1. 13 - the age at which i got my first electric guitar.
2. 65 - the number i won turkey bingo with when i was in grade school. in the "o" column, of course.
3. 91 - the year of the last twins world series championship.
4. 231 - the room in mary hall where "brian loves jackie nelson" (and many other songs) was conceived.
5. 315 - my blood sugar level the day i found out that i am diabetic (normal is 100).

so let's get those submissions rolling in, folks. after i have the first title, i'll write and record the song. stay tuned for more information.

if any of you think this is stupid and untrue to the creative process, well, screw you, because you're no fun.

PLEASE HELP ME, FOR I AM WEAK.

13 comments:

Lishyk said...

Tom- I think the world is in need of a surf music revival. That should be pretty easy, plenty of beach boys, Jan and Dean, the Bel-Airs, and the surftones you could draw some inspiration from.

Also-- just so you're aware, the Surfari song "wipeout" placed #10 and #2 in Billboard in 1965, which was actually the same year that surfer rock was introduced to Japan when the Ventures went on tour there (I believe--but I could be wrong).

65 is one of your numbers, and the world needs a surf rock revival. I would recommend a catchy title like "Surf wax love child"

Good luck!

John Kamman said...

Thank God, Tom

~jackie said...

um, i am out of control. please stop me now and make sure to give others a chance at title suggestions. my most heartfelt apologies for being unable to harness my instinct to keep hitting "submit".

Sam said...

this is a pretty good idea.

tmkain said...

so far, so good. alisha, i'll put in your suggestion, ok?

i've got a real neat microsoft excel spreadsheet to keep track of all of these. it's really neat!

jackie, you are really suggesting a lot. perhaps you could take a breather from your zeal and tell your friends to suggest something, too. that way there would be more variety in my results. i think. but really, i'm amazed at your stamina. keep going.

tom

Joe said...

"That Pimp Just Spat in My Mouth"

tmkain said...

joe, yours, too, has been added.

~jackie said...

i am taking a breather- perhaps a permanent one. i overused my brain yesterday, but i have been encouraging my friends to submit as well. it may require submission by me (using their names and e-mails of course) just because they are hesitant to become involved.

if you need me to fill in blanks in order to reach the 200+ level, i will do so at your request. i'm such a giver.

Brian P said...

Tiki,

I didn't read carefully enough to realize that you needed 300+ entries! I'll add a bunch. I was originally going to save up energy for one really great suggestion, but now the floodgates will be open.

And I echo the "Thank God"

Brian

Daniel Holth said...

Tom, the reason your form isn't showing up for som people is their browsers are too small and your form is too big. If they expand the browser and make it wider, it should show up.

Anonymous said...

we're up to 80 suggestions. keep them coming!

tom

Case-Face said...

I couldn't see the last part of the form on Firefox, but there it was on IE.

Love this idea.

Anonymous said...

it works on my firefox. well, anyway, if it doesn't work, chances are it works in IE. thanks, casey.